Let life surprise you.
I think that it is a fair statement to say, you'll never really know your impact on the world until you're gone. My dad's funeral brought in over 300 people and that did not surprise me. He was so loved by his church family, his writer community, and his giant family. He was the story teller and everyone loved it.
The thing that did surprise me, was that my mom's funeral was larger. It appeared as though every person she interacted with, she changed their lives for the better. My brothers and I were flooded with stories about how mom showed them compassion and wisdom, and gentle endless kindness.
I think if you ask most people that have lost someone significant to them, they will tell you that they may have been physically at the funeral, but in all reality, they weren't at all there mentally. I remember very few things from my moms funeral.
There was one moment that surprised me and shook me back into the present. As we were hugging everyone that left the church, a middle aged man that I did not know came up to me, grabbed my hand with both of his, and with a tear dripping down his cheek said, "I feel like I know you. I feel like I've watched you grow up. And I am deeply sorry for all of our losses today". That kind man was my mom's bus driver. He was so saddened by her passing that he felt the need to come to her funeral.
I think she had no idea the impact or the imprint she left on this world. Neither did we until she was gone. My mom's cancer was so fast. From the moment she didn't feel good, to her passing, was a 7 week window of time. My brothers wife and I were doing the best we could to be at every appointment and navigate through her treatment plan, but we needed help. My amazing cousin helped organize a schedule so that we could be home to tuck our babies in at night during those final weeks. She had a different family member or friend stay the night every night with mom until the end. I felt guilty until, almost every single person thanked me for letting them spend that time with her. I was so surprised. I don't know what she said in that room to each one of them, but they all seemed changed by the experience.
One of the best gifts that I have received from all of this is that I have learned to appreciate life surprising me.
The thing that did surprise me, was that my mom's funeral was larger. It appeared as though every person she interacted with, she changed their lives for the better. My brothers and I were flooded with stories about how mom showed them compassion and wisdom, and gentle endless kindness.
I think if you ask most people that have lost someone significant to them, they will tell you that they may have been physically at the funeral, but in all reality, they weren't at all there mentally. I remember very few things from my moms funeral.
There was one moment that surprised me and shook me back into the present. As we were hugging everyone that left the church, a middle aged man that I did not know came up to me, grabbed my hand with both of his, and with a tear dripping down his cheek said, "I feel like I know you. I feel like I've watched you grow up. And I am deeply sorry for all of our losses today". That kind man was my mom's bus driver. He was so saddened by her passing that he felt the need to come to her funeral.
I think she had no idea the impact or the imprint she left on this world. Neither did we until she was gone. My mom's cancer was so fast. From the moment she didn't feel good, to her passing, was a 7 week window of time. My brothers wife and I were doing the best we could to be at every appointment and navigate through her treatment plan, but we needed help. My amazing cousin helped organize a schedule so that we could be home to tuck our babies in at night during those final weeks. She had a different family member or friend stay the night every night with mom until the end. I felt guilty until, almost every single person thanked me for letting them spend that time with her. I was so surprised. I don't know what she said in that room to each one of them, but they all seemed changed by the experience.
One of the best gifts that I have received from all of this is that I have learned to appreciate life surprising me.
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