We are all but a speck of dust.

I don't know about anyone else, but every single time I fly I get a chance to reset with God. It's not because I am stuck in a seat with nothing to do but think. Let's be honest, I typically use that time to sleep. That's something I always seem to have a lack of. 😴
It's the moment the plane starts to descend. I'm not fancy and I don't fly first class, but I do like a window seat for this specific moment. For quite a long period of time, I was guilty of thinking that I had personally done something cosmically wrong to the universe and God was just punishing me with hit after hit of loss. In my defense though, we had a huge family that had experienced almost no tragedies. After we got married, we lost grandma, my younger aunt, our first baby, my dad, and then my mom.
It's pretty natural for people to pull in during hard times, hide from people that love them, and play the "Woe is Me" game. I did that. But then I would hop on a plane for work and get a chance to reset with God. If you've ever looked out the window of a plane descending down into Seattle, all you see is highways of tiny little cars, and tiny little houses. When I look down on the sea of bustling people it reminds me that I am but a speck of dust in God's eyes. Every one of those people down there, living the grind or living the dream has a bucket of problems too. They have hardship and loss. It is not unique to me, and in many cases I am so blessed compared to others. Taking the flight down into a city reminds me to think of other cities and countries, ones with famine and disease. Those people didn't do anything wrong to the universe. God didn't hate them and wish them harm. Sad things just happen, and they happen to everybody.
My parents lived full lives with love, joy, and God in them. My dad lost his father when he was 14 and I asked him several times if he was bitter about having such a short time with him. His answer was the same every time. He said, "No, I got more quality time with my father in those 14 years, than most kids get in a lifetime". That always stuck with me, for several reasons. I'm reminded of how important it is to be present for your kids, because you don't know how long you have. Also, I knock myself back down, when I get angry about losing him. He barely had his dad and he didn't complain. I had the BEST dad for 37 amazing years.
I know when you're in the throws of tragedy or sadness, you think that it is only happening to you and life is punishing you alone. It's OK to feel that way, I'm pretty sure it's part of the process. Just try to find your moment, where you are knocked back down to a humble place, and remember we are all but a speck of dust in this giant amazing world. It helps. Hang in there.   

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