I've Lived a Good Life...

This week I received a gift that I have needed for quite some time. My little brother has come home to visit with his wife and daughter. After being on the road experiencing life, they have come home to settle things with their house, and potentially set it up to rent out, or sell. I didn't care what the reason was for their visit. I was just elated that they were here. It had been a year and a half since I had seen them all and I needed to just hug them. The interesting thing was, I thought my overwhelming need was going to be seeing my brother and hugging him for ever, but it wasn't. Turns out, the thing I needed most, to feed my soul, was to spend some quality time with my sister in law. As we all sat and chatted about life and where they had been, I realized my cup was filling up and I finally figured out why. When Mom was rapidly going through her cancer journey I was never alone with the treatments, my sister in law was by my side the entire time and we dealt with every

This morning I had an early flight to Portland. Flying this time of year is much easier, because the sun is up and it tricks you into thinking you should be awake too. Fully charged with a cup of coffee I stared out the window and had some much needed think time. I caught myself taking a moment for reflection. It was a “How are we doing at this game of life” inventory. This weekend we were crazy productive in the yard and got much more done than either of us thought we could accomplish. I feel like that statement needs a disclaimer. We have a large, beautiful yard that we both love, and in the beginning of the season it takes a lot of work. I am a self-prescribed yard schizophrenic. I start one thing, then glance over at another area and immediately start working over there. I’m like a spastic bee buzzing all over the yard, starting, but not solving anything. My husband loves me, but he loathes this trait in me. This year, as I buzzed away to another area, he begged me to stick wit

I think one of the most important things you can do when you're watching someone pass into the next life is learn from them as they cross over. There was something that both of my parents stopped doing once they realized that their clock was running out. They both stopped watching TV. I thought it was very interesting, so I asked them in that moment, why? My dad's answer was that he wanted to spend as many of his final moments hearing stories from everyone he loved. Any minute that he had enough energy to stay awake he wanted to listen to people and take in as many heartfelt conversations as he could before God took him home. My mom was even more vocal about it. She didn't want the TV on in her room or to hear it at all. My mom loved reality TV. She used to watch Survivor with my dad, and watch Big Brother while sitting on the phone with me. The last TV show she watched was with me in the hospital. We watched an episode of Blue Bloods. The next day we got bad news and fou

As I sit in the pew in the back of the church in quiet reflection I ask myself, why do I come HERE? Other than the obvious answer of, it is my time with God, which I have always believed you can get time with God anywhere in nature, what is my real reason for coming to THAT church? Yes it was the church I grew up in and the church my father grew up in, which is special, but not the reason. There are more people there that I don't know, than I do know. I think after spending many hours pondering the question I have an answer and it's kind of sad. I go to THAT church to feel pain, to feel something. Every ones path through grieving is different. Some people feel sadness unexpectantly and uncontrollably for years, and that is totally normal. Some people fall hard after the passing of a loved one, get all their stuff out, and bounce back fast. No journey is the right way, it just has to be the right way for you. My advice is to take your time through it, and don't skip steps t