Coming out of the eye of the storm.

The inevitable time is approaching where my families pain and loss hits its peak. We are about to exit the eye of the storm. Tomorrow is my mothers birthday and a week and a half later is the day she passed onto heaven.
I have the sweetest memories of my dad buying my mom a dozen yellow roses on her birthday. Some years money was so tight that those dozen roses turned into 2 dozen daisies. It's probably no coincidence that my mothers second favorite flower was the daisy. My parents gave me such a rich foundation and understanding that money does not buy happiness. They showed each other love through laughter and friendship. I feel very blessed to have been brought up in their home, where love and fun never had a monetary value.
I think it's safe to say that I've made peace with my dad's passing. He fought long and hard and left nothing on the table. That man was ready to see his mom and dad, brother and sister. I wish I could say I was that far along with my mom's passing. Last weekend I had a cousins getaway where I probably stayed up until 3 am talking and crying with one of them. That's a pretty good indicator to me, that I have a ways to go.
No need digging into the demons that haunt me. I think my focus instead needs to be on getting through this time. I should throw some pottery, immerse myself in holiday decorations with the family, bake too many cookies, juice some fruits and veggies, and as a last result, drink an extra glass wine when needed.
I am so thankful that I have the husband that I do. I am not exaggerating when I say that he feels my pain, because he literally does.  Over the past 7 married years we have grown so close, that his heart breaks when mine is breaking. I can not believe that I pulled off marrying a man as sweet as my own father. Because of that, I am not afraid to weather this storm. I know that I will be walking through it, hand in hand with the strongest person I know. 💕