I've Lived a Good Life...

I love the phrase "A picture is worth a thousand words". Above you will see two of my favorite pictures of all times.  Thanks to Amazon Prime Photos these memories un-expectantly dropped in my lap over the last couple of days.   My dad was about 11 months into his treatment plan here. That exact moment wasn't capturing a picture of a man with cancer, it was encapsulating the pure joy of a grandpa holding his grand baby. He didn't even know I took the photo...but my daughter obviously did. 😉 My mom's picture shows the crazy close bond that she had with my daughter. They were two peas in a pod and were always caught giving each other a tight squeeze. Just a few days ago, my son (who was 2 when mom passed away) told me that he had a happy dream about Grammy in her yellow rain coat. I thought to myself this morning when I looked at this picture, "Huh, there's that bright and sunny rain coat".  I do believe that life gives you...

I was doing so good. I thought I had made it through all the stages of grief and was on to the fun part of remembering the good times and forgetting the bad.  Well, I may have hit a bump in the road due to a combination of circumstances. A friend contacted me with bad news about a family member being diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer, my husband was gone for the weekend, and I was left with my thoughts. That friend asked me a simple question. "After watching your parents go through treatment, do you think it was worth it?" That little question rolled me right back to every painful moment. Pardon the analogy, because I don't mean to be offensive. When you are around people going through cancer treatment you can almost see the cancer on them. It's like looking into a dogs eyes, that is ready to pass on. There spirit is on hold, as the fear of death washes over them. They are not themselves anymore...they are cancer. I answered my friend that day after a ver...

In my youth I was convinced that I was my father, through and through. I was driven and liked to used humor to lighten serious moments in time. My parents had a very sweet relationship that I used to observe constantly. As I aged, I gained a greater appreciation for what they actually had and how unique it was. My father would do things to purposely frustrate my mom, and she was sure an easy target. He knew every little thing that would get her blood boiling, and pushed it right up to the point where she would firmly say his first AND middle name. Then they would bust out in laughter. It was a dance I never grew tired of watching. As an adult I took on a similar banter with my mom that was fun and playful.When I was pregnant with my daughter, the summer was hot and I was getting big. My mom tried to take me shopping for cute maternity clothes, but we always left empty handed, cause all the clothes made me look fat. 😉 But, one day I walked down the block to a neighbor who was sellin...

I wouldn't be what people call an observant creature. When I was a child and we would go on family road trips, I was always the last one to notice the deer, moose, elk, or bear in the woods. If a friend got a new hair cut, I would be the last one to notice. My husband could completely tear out a flower bed in the front of our house, and I'm oblivious to it.  The irony is that my job requires me to have a crazy amount of attention to detail. But it is a little known fact by people close to me, that once I shut my computer down at work, my brain flies right out the window. What I'm saying, is that for the most part, I have to be hit by a Mack truck to usually notice something out of place or peculiar. About a week ago I had a very interesting day. It started out with a visit to the kids pediatrician where they had their well child visit. On our way out, a cute little old man came up to my son and said, "young man, do you have something in your ear?" Then he pulled ...

It is no secret that our children's birthdays are connected to sorrowful moments in our life. Piper's birthday weekend almost two years ago now, was the time we found out that mom was sick with colon cancer. I battle sadness during this time and fight it with all I've got, because our daughter deserves to have a birthday filled with happiness. This year we decided to ask her what she would like to do, and she said, go on a trip. I very thoughtfully came up with the idea to go to Yellowstone National Park. My mother was a summer tour guide there and she loved it. We visited Yellowstone often when we were children, and I have some of my fondest memories of her from those times. So, in the essence of everything my mother was and everything I know she would do, I will be the best damn tour guide my family has ever seen. I have started preparing our household by leaving informational packets all through the house with pictures of wildlife and hot springs. I am going to turn ...

Today marks the fifth anniversary of my dad's passing on to heaven. The daily sadness definitely has dissipated, but the anniversary day always stings the same. Unfortunately I can remember it like it was yesterday. The strength of my aunt who had diligently stayed by his bedside for 21 straight days, the peace of my mother as she kissed her sweet soul mate into heaven, and the saving grace of my cousin who walked mom and I through those first few hours with out him. They all played such a significant role in my journey through that time. They are also, ironically three of the strongest woman I know. My husband and I are also blessed with never forgetting this date. A year after my dad's passing we were given this day as our sons due date. I cut a deal with my doctor...and god, that I did not want a lion king moment. No "Circle of Life" crap. I wanted our child to have his own day, and I was going to will that to happen no matter what. Thankfully everyone followed th...

See this purple flower we have proudly growing by our pond? This is a plant that my dad had growing all around their house. It is a hearty plant that he loved, absolutely loved. I on the other hand did not like this plant. I used to make fun of it, and ask dad why he felt the need to grow a weed wrapped around his house. It was one of our fun running arguments. Ironically, it was also the very last thing we thoughtfully took from their home, and transplanted it by our pond. Yesterday was Father's Day, and before I kicked off festivities with my kids to celebrate their dad, I took a quiet moment out on the deck with my dad early in the morning. Now the beauty of this weed, oh, I mean flower, is that it only blossoms in the morning. In the later part of the day the flowers close up and go to sleep. My dad was a lifetime morning person, so I guess it's appropriate that the flower we have in our yard that represents him, shines brightest in the morning.  I think putting a tr...